Over at Wired, they have an article up by Clive Thompson about “gamer regret”: the feeling that you’ve spent too much time playing a game.
Perhaps, give the substance of the article, we might call it “gamer guilt”, the feeling that you could have been spending your time on “better things”. Whatever “better things” might mean.
Personally, I see no reason why anyone should feel either regretful or guilty about playing games, unless family, friends, and/or work are being neglected.
The problem, no doubt, comes from the fact that games are still fairly new. They don’t have a long tradition behind them, as do sports, reading, movies, hobbies, or plays (or even television).
Regardless, that feeling of “regret” (or “guilt”) isn’t new; only the activity is new. It’s just one more thing to take up our time, and that is the core of the matter.
No matter what, there’s always something else that needs to be done. I had this feeling often back in the days when I was still writing for the magazine and still running the games areas online for CompuServe, GEnie, et al.
I’d be playing a game, and thinking I ought to get online and check my email. Or read the boards. But then I’d be online and thinking I ought to be playing the game, because the review had to be done soon. No matter what, there was that sinking feeling something was being neglected, there was something else I should be doing.
Of course, my situation wasn’t typical, since I played games for a living. And really, few things were neglected (or at least, not for long). Still, I think you get the idea.
Games can soak up a lot of time. So can watching television or movies, or reading a book, or anything that engages our interest. It comes down to “not enough time for everything”, so we have to pick and choose.
And if some of us choose games, so what? If games didn’t exist, it would likely be TV taking up our (not my!) time. For that matter, it still absorbs plenty of hours from a lot of people.
No, I don’t think there’s any reason to be guilty about game hours. It’s just the modern world gives us so many different things to do, and we can’t do all of them. So make the best choices, and don’t let your conscience bother you. Unless, of course, you’re neglecting family/friends/work…
some point there, but it may be at 20 years or so computer gaming is just too new that they are preceived more as dragging one away from the ‘family’ more then TV viewing.
Of course as a family experience TV had a lot of undesirables. 1 wants program on channel X, 2 wants one on channel Y issue. But then at least the family could talk if only during commericals if one of the parents was a shhhh-er and was totally into the program.
I dont see how reading UNLESS they were talking about reading to the children type story COULD be considered more of a together project then games. As one with their nose deeply buried in the book typically isn’t interchaning with the rest of the family any more/less then a computer gamer would be. Just reading has been around longer and is ‘more socially accepted’ i suppose.
tv has this maryjane commerical about how 3 kids sat on a couch smoking all summer and did nothing. message about they in a state where they accomplished nothing. Yeah gamming could be like that nothing much accomplished, other then keeping one self entertained/amused. So what if you aren’t avoiding the family. Hey but i bet the mendeza parents would, if the could, wished their boys played more computer games and didn’t interact with the family so much.
I only feel that way if my family suffers for it. If for some reason I am on the computer when my kids are awake I always will jump off if they come and ask me to play. I only jump on the computer once they are asleep and I always log off to spend time with my wife. Call it finding my “Computer Chi” if you will.
Three times in my life I’ve had friends who were addicted to gaming. One of them finally broke the addiciton but it cost him years and a good career as well as a fiance. The other two were both married with a kid. I fully remember one of them playing DoD and his 3 year old daughter asking him to play with her over the boom mike, he kept telling her no and finally yelled at her for bothering him while he was playing. He forgot the boom mike was on, I will never forget the sound of his daughter crying as she ran off while he muttered under his breathe. I logged off after that and didn’t play with him for a long time, I vowed never to do that.
The last one did something similar while playing nintendo, we were playing basketball on it and his kid stood in front of the TV to get his attention after he kept ignoring her, he got up and shoved her away screaming like a lunatic. I tossed the controller down and pushed him and told him off for pushing his kid. That was the end of our friendship.
These 3 people are the reason I’m careful to limit my play time to no more than a couple hours at a time and only after the kids are asleep. The only exception is when I’m helping my son play a nick jr. game or we play our race car game together. Then I limit his play time as well.
The article was right, the /played command in WoW is an eye opener. I had 200+ hours in my mage when I played WoW and still was not maxed out on level, think I got it up to 52 or 53 out of 60 at the time. That’s the equivalent of working over an entire month at 40 hours a week.
I usually go to be early since I get up at 5 AM, not too long after the kids, but I try to play when they are doing other activities such as watching TV that I don’t do.
Vag, yeah, those people had a serious problem. Very serious. And that’s terrible. Not just sad, but terrible that they’d neglect their kids to play a game.
Xian, interesting about your time in WoW. How long had you been playing? It must have been some months, at least.
And do you regret or feel guilty over the time spent?
50-200 hours what a poor excuse for a gamer! either that or you should call yourself a family man.
of course Ag Nar’s birth date is 28 Jan 2000 so he’ll soon be 8 years old.
buff bots are typically online 24/7 unattended by me unless they crash so i can have 3 or 4 bots (buffing like those or newer trade or tinkering bots) operating online on 2 computers while playing with another toon on the third comptuer. the following are IN GAME times where the hours spent are slowly converted into higher measurements of time:
ag nar (main mage) You have played for 13mo 10d 5h 35m 32s. (doesnt mean created 13 months ago, but IN GAME time totals after 7.x years 13 months….)
non-player killer (tinker/craft toon) You have played for 6mo 2d 16h 45m 29s.
le blue streak (highest melee) You have played for 1mo 15d 19h 36m 58s.
Tunguska (highest archery) You have played for 2mo 15d 20h 30m 47s.
hordes of other toons with varies times of several days to several months.
bus station locker b (trade bot) You have played for 16mo 17d 16h 45m 29s.
tiwaz (years online as allegiance buff bot) You have played for 49mo 17d 16h 45m 29s.
sun-tzu zen (last year or so also as allegiance buff bot) You have played for 15mo 15d 20h 30m 47s.
It was over a period of 5-6 months. I don’t regret playing. There wasn’t really any other games that came out during that period that I was interested in. Was there more productive things I could have been doing? Sure, but gaming is what I enjoy. I see others spending as much time watching television or other pursuits. The point I always make when my father talks about wasting time on games is that I have never fell asleep playing a game, while I see you asleep in front of the tv every night. At least my mind is staying active.
i don’t regret playing and over those 7 going on 8 years i’ve got over 2 years of in game time (non bots).
7.x years, 2 of which were gaming hmm sleep 1/3, work 1/3 and time off 1/3. w/8 = 1/4
sure comes in handy i don’t work
Gamer regret for me would be playing any game that I didn’t finish (provided, of course, that it is a game that is meant to be finished). If I don’t finish a game, I view the time I spent on it as mostly wasted. This would apply to almost any type of computer/video game, but particularily to Adventures and RPGs.
Obviously I’m goal driven, but the same would go for movies, books etc., if I don’t finish it, I usually regret the time I spent on it.
Xian, exactly. Your choice of entertainment may not be someone else’s. Your dad watches TV and I wouldn’t be surprised if he spent more time on that than you do on games.
Ag, we all know you live for AC ;) (That’s Asheron’s Call for you non-MMOG players out there) BY now, they should be paying you to play the game!
Malcolm, I agree: not finishing a game is the main cause for regret. The next one is buying a game that’s awful, and regretting the money spent.
Well, Scorpia, I can think of something worse.
Namely buying a game that kept on getting one bad review after another and THEN regretting it.
Of course, I’m the one that bought Dungeon Lords CE and loved it anyway.
And didn’t Scorpia played Tresspasser and loved it as well?
No, I believe that was Coyote who played Trespasser; I’d never even heard of the game until he mentioned it. Just as well ;)
And if you buy a game that gets bad reviews, you can expect, in most cases, to regret the purchase.