Over on a site called headinjurytheater.com (which seems appropriate), Jared Hindman has a post up on bad/silly/stupid monsters in D&D (formerly AD&D, of course).

After reading the article, I was inspired (if that’s the word) to haul one of my old books off the shelf for a quick perusal. It happened to be Monster Manual II. Flipping quickly through the pages, I came upon these little gstrongs:

Dustdigger: A weird starfish critter that lives in the desert. Of course, it’s much bigger than the ones in the sea, having a size of Large, though no dimensions are given. Killer starfish in the desert. what a concept!

Executioner’s Hood: Yep, it’s a living creature that looks just like – haha – a hood. It drops on someone’s head and suffocates it. But wait! If you pour strong brandy on the hood, a quart’s worth will make it drunk and it will drop off! Remember to bring some of that stuff on your next excursion.

Froghemoth: Who dreams up these things? This one looks like, well, is, a giant frog with tentacles and a very long tongue. The critter is eighteen feet long and ten feet wide. They seem to have pop-up eyes, too. Maybe it’s really a giant submarine frogtopus?

Hollyphant: A tiny (2-foot long), furry, elephant with wings. Why the “holly” part? I dunno, maybe people can give them as Christmas presents or something. But hey, at least it’s a good critter, not evil.

Monodrone: Creepy-looking things that inhabit the plane of Nirvana. They have a head with one eye, what could be a pair of wings or very oddly-shaped ears, a mouth, and a pair of legs. They’re laborers or soldiers. If this is the basic model, where do the arms go? There doesn’t seem to be enough room.

And speaking of enough, I’ll stop here. Read Jared’s article, and if you feel up to it, drag a monster manual off your shelf and see what other silly monsters you can find.

Silly D&D Monsters